You just never know

So today is my birthday. I'm not a huge birthday fan for the obvious reasons (getting older is the main one) but nevertheless, it's still a big day. In reading through Facebook posts (which I love and appreciate!), I found myself scrolling back along the timeline. I jumped from my very first wall post which was in 2005 to right before I met my Hubs. Well, I take that back, I knew him but didn't think of him that way yet. It's just so funny to see your life chronicled like that. Little did I know just how drastically life would be changing in such a short amount of time.

It really does make me wonder what is in store for me and my family in 2013. The temporary flashback helped to ground me in my minor blue state and helped me to realize our (Hubs and I) whole mantra just a little better; Everything for a reason. True, the reason may be unclear at the time - albeit painful and diffucult to move past - but sometimes there is a "plan" for lack of better word. I am at the beginning of a brand new year and judging by the years I have had so far, there will be many ups and downs. Already we face one as we deal with the tumultuous state of selling our home. That could possibly be one of the most stressful things I can think of.

But soon enough we will move past that as well and be on to our next challenge. It's exciting and scary at the same time. The "I never saw that coming!" things are what scare me the most. But who knows. Those moments may be some of the best things that ever happened to me.....

Peace Out :)

It's almost OCTOBER??

How did this happen? I swear, I just stopped blogging for one day. Maybe two. But that was all. I promise!! And now I look back and realize it's been over two weeks! Unbelievable.

Highlights from the past two weeks:

• Went home to my parent's house and visited while they had a band gig.
• Unpacked more things from our GV house to the new house - whew!
• Papa and Bushia came for a surprise visit before their next adventure at Amazon.com
• Work is - eh - work is work. But it's not bad.
• Have been rapidly gearing up to begin school full time starting October 1st.

In a nutshell, nothing earth-shattering. Life is trudging along. We're heading into THE BEST time of year. Sister and I are trying to plan a "Fall Date" where we wear layers, drink chai and look at seasonal decorations (yes, we're dorks!).

I'm nervous about starting school again. It's been a long time coming and I hope I can stay on track. I have every desire to and my drive is such that I am determined not to mess this up. If all goes as planned, within two years I'll have my BA and have completed my student teaching. Keep your fingers crossed!

That's all for now.

I'll be better.

Promise.

Peace Out :)

Taking a little time

I'm learning to be "ok" with not being "on" all of the time. Does that make sense to anyone out there in cyberworld? This past weekend, I had great plans. I wanted to clean,  I wanted to organize, I wanted to cook. Then Saturday morning rolled around and I just didn't want to. Not in the same way you don't want to go to work in the morning, but more that I just wanted a day (or two) to not be responsible for anything. I realized that I am the only person putting these "rules" onto myself. I'm the boss of me and my weekend decisions. I decided to give myself the day off.

It was nice.

I hardly even cooked, which is very unlike me.

What did I do?

I hung out with the kids. I surfed the internet. I drank tea on the swing with Chad. We dreamed of future plans. I read my book. We watched some movies. I went to bed early.

I finally feel rested after a weekend. And I thought I would feel guilty about all the things I wanted to do, but I don't. Coming to peace with realizing sometimes even Mama Bear needs a day off.

As you can see, I didn't even post on the blog.

But now I'm back. Gearing up for a busy week and weekend ahead of me. It was a nice break.

Peace Out :)

Foggy blanket and ocean mist

A reflection piece. Perhaps because I had a very vivid dream of my hometown last night. In it, I had gone back to the high school and was shocked and disheartened by the decrepit buildings and overgrown weeds. I was saddened knowing that when I lived there, it was a source of pride to tell people that I had grown up in this picturesque and quaint little coastal village in Northern California. 

All time time I would be told just how lucky I was to be there. And at the time, while I knew it was beautiful, I never fully grasped just how special it was. Ask anyone who spent any part of their childhood there. It was just an extraordinary sort of place.

This morning, in an effort to relieve my anxiety of my dwindling town, I spent a few minutes googling Mendocino trying to find recent pictures; anything to prove to myself that it was as beautiful as ever. In my most recent visit (which I am embarrassed to say has been over three years), I couldn't wait to show my then boyfriend (now husband) all of my old stomping grounds. I wanted to take him to the bakery where my friends and I would get our morning tea and bagel as well as show him the cute little jewelry store where I worked for a summer. I wanted to show him the "fancy" tourist restaurants that none of us locals could afford to eat at, but where we all knew at least half of the staff. I wanted to brag and show him the view of my high school and the little French shop where my mom worked as a bookkeeper for years and years....All of these things I was so excited to show him. And you know what? Only one was not as I remembered. My beloved bakery had changed hands and while it was similar, it wasn't quite the same. However, one thing in all wasn't too shabby.

I remember excitedly pointing out the spots on Lansing Street that they had shut down during the making of The Majestic and how cool it had been that Jim Carey was in our town. In fact, he paid a visit to the little store my mom worked at and did quite a bit of shopping; unfortunately, mom wasn't at work that day :(. 

Top of Lansing Street looking down into "down town". 

Almost an exact replica of the view of town from my old high school. 

One of our favorite things to tell visitors was that it was absolutely normal to see Christopher Lloyd walk his dog around the football field and track at the high school. Every day. His house was just down the block. So many neat little things that made our town special and unique.

Mendocino holds a special place in my heart. To me, no matter where I live, it will always be home. The crash of waves and damp coolness of the fog will always bring me comfort. I have a fear of enclosed tight spaces, however the envelopment of fog all around me has never once made me feel uncomfortable. To me, instead, it is like a reassuring blanket. It quiets everything around you and allows for time to think. To this day, seeing fog instantly takes me back to happy memories where all is safe and good in the world. 

Mendocino evening. This image is not my own.